Super,dooper,tekkenDragonball,mega,ultra,adventure
by HHH-fan-2001
Summary: What would not happen had Goku & crew viseted The tekken universe
1. 1

Super dooper Tekken & Dragonball mega ultra Adventure  
  
Disclaimer: Tekken an all it guys n gals are Namco's and Dragonball n all its guys are Toei's. Please don't sue me.  
  
Trunks & Goten are gathered round the forbidden Ultimate dragonballs & are about to make a wish.  
  
Trunks: Alright Goten, we got all the dragonballs. Lets make that wish.  
  
Summons Eternal Dragon  
  
Eternal Dragon: I am the Eternal Dragon. What is your.... ( looks down at the two).Oh. It's you saiya-  
  
jins again. How come it's only you who ever makes wishes.*sigh* What d'ya want  
  
now? Immortality? Strength? Invincible Punching bag? Nice lady saiya-jin eh  
  
*wink wink/nudge nudge*  
  
Goten: Yes please! With nice legs, a big tail and a big pair of br-- (trunks cups his mouth)MMMPHH!!  
  
Trunks: Don't listen to him, heh heh, He's a little crazy. No. I wish that when we merged into Gotenks  
  
that he wasn't so stooooooooopid.......an' that he was good lookin.  
  
Eternal Dragon: Anything else?  
  
Goten: MMPHH!(pulls hand away)..An' that he had a big massive tree tru--  
  
Eternal Dragon: Your wish has been granted.  
  
Goten: Hey! You didn't let me finish.  
  
Eternal dragon: Yeah I did.  
  
Goten: No!  
  
Trunks: Yeah he did.  
  
Eternal Dragon: BYEEEEEE!!!  
  
Goten:*sniff, sulk*  
  
Dragonballs light up, turn into stone, fly into the air & disperse.  
  
Goten & trunks Stare at the sky for ages.  
  
Goten: Yup.  
  
Trunks: Yup.  
  
Goten: Yup  
  
Trunks: Goten, weren't those the forbidden ultimate dragonballs which, if not recovered and brought  
  
back to this planet within a year, will cause it to explode?  
  
Goten: Sure were.  
  
Trunks: Well... Did you have any plans for them.  
  
Goten: Plastic bags.  
  
Trunks: Plastic bags!?  
  
Goten: Yeah, I put 'em all round the sky to catch them!  
  
Trunks: (turns to Goten with look of disbelief): !!!!!  
  
Goten: (sees Trunks) What!?  
  
Trunks: I know why Gotenks was stupid now. AND NOW YOU'VE DOOMED THE PLANET! And  
  
I'll be in trouble, And our dads are going to say (Imitates Vegeta's voice); Now you're going to  
  
go into space & find them. You've been slacking off on your training recently an bla-bla-bla-  
  
bla-golden oppurtunity-bla-bla- Trunks don't be lazy, Trunks do this, Trunks do that,  
  
Trunks get out of your mom's clothes!  
  
Goten: Yup  
  
Trunks: yup  
  
Enter Gohan  
  
Gohan: Yup  
  
Goten: HA! You don't even know what we're talking about.  
  
Gohan: (hangs head) *sigh*  
  
Meanwhile. In the Namco Universe, The Kings of Iron Fists tag Tournament is drawing close & everyone is busy training. The Mishima's (Heihachi, Kazuya, Lee &Jin) are training in their dojo.   
  
Heihachi is whooping both his sons & grandson. Their bruised & devastated bodies lie around Heihachi.  
  
Heihachi: You've all been slacking on your training & have become weak. I ought to throw you all one  
  
by one off a really high cliff & see if you survive. BWAHAHAHAHA!!!  
  
Kazuya: Please no!  
  
Lee: You like throwing people from great heights don't you?  
  
Heihachi punches Lee in the face, stomps on Kazuya's back & dragon uppercuts Jin.  
  
Heihachi: I'M INVINCIBLE!  
  
A stone ball comes flying through the roof & hits Heihachi Right in the middle of his bald head in between the twin peaks & K.O.'s Him.  
  
Jin quickly stands Up. Kazuya & Lee come to.  
  
Jin: It was me. Yup all me not you, he was crippling you two and I just had to step in before you guys  
  
ended up in wheel chairs ( sweeps ball behind feet)  
  
Lee: What was that?  
  
Jin: Nothing.  
  
Five more balls break through the roof barely missing Jin  
  
Wow what a co-incidence.  
  
Kazuya : (examining dent in Heihachi's head)What a funny shaped dent. Exactly the same shape as  
  
this stone ball.  
  
Jin: Wow. What another funny co-incidence.  
  
One more stone ball flies through the roof hitting Jin on the head.  
  
Phew, my hair cushioned the impact. I have such strong hair.  
  
(Jin walks round a corner. Soon, sobbing can be heard.)  
  
Lee: What are they?  
  
Kazuya: 7 stone balls.  
  
Lee picks up 2 & puts them to his chest. Puts on a high pitched voice & a crappy Irish accent.  
  
Lee: Oi! I'm Anna. I'm Irish..er,.. mate. Top o' the mornin to ya'. I love the I.R.A. & I hate me sister  
  
Nina. An another thing laddy boy..  
  
Kazuya: HAHAHA--that's not funny.   
  
Lee: It's got stars on it. It must have magical powers.  
  
Kazuya: You think? Lets find out & break it. (charges hand with ki)  
  
Lee: Stop! I gotta better idea. Lets wait for one year then see if they all turn golden, then collect them  
  
& see if a mystical dragon comes out to grant us a wish.  
  
Kazuya: (stares) I'm breaking it.  
  
(Jin walks back out of corner with bandages round his head)  
  
Jin: They're nice balls. So smooth & big. Nice. Mmmmm. (starts rubbing them. Kazuya stares in disbelief)  
  
You know they'd be better than those grampa Head trophies at the tournament. (Heihachi immediately  
  
wakes up)  
  
Heihachi: What, don't you like your grampa's head!?  
  
Enter Jun  
  
Jun: Hey it's dinner time.  
  
Heihachi: Insolent grandson, I'll teach you to--DINNER. Wa-hey!  
  
Jun: (picks up dragonball) What nice stone balls. Oh look, a star. It must posses powers & they'd be  
  
much better than those head trophies.  
  
Heihachi falls over & you see his feet, like what happens in anime when someone says something  
  
that's really dumb.  
  
*Everyone starts to leave*  
  
Lee: He he he. Your sons gay!  
  
Kazuya: Shut up Lee!  
  
Lee: Gay gay gay!  
  
Kazuya: I'm gonna beat you up soon.  
  
Lee: Ain't I annoying?  
  
Kazuya: JUN!!.......  
  
Lee: No I'm sorry, I'm sorry.  
  
Jun: What?  
  
Kazuya: LEE SAYS.......  
  
Lee: Here money!  
  
Hands over wad o' cash  
  
Jun: (sternly) Lee says what?  
  
Kazuya: (Smirks & pockets money) Lee says what's for dinner?  
  
Goku Vegeta & all their sons are in a capsule headed for earth (Namco earth) Because their radar has located all the dragonballs there.  
  
Trunks: All right then we're almost there. We'll be landing in an hour! Isn't it lucky for us that all the  
  
dragonballs have landed on that same planet which we are currently headed for so we can  
  
retrieve the dragon balls & that's why we're headed for that planet--  
  
Vegeta slaps Trunks on the back of head  
  
Trunks: Thanks dad.  
  
Vegeta:(looks out window) What a crumby planet. I bet I could destroy it with one Final Flash Attack.  
  
HAHAHAHA!  
  
Goku: Seat belts everybody!  
  
Spaceship lands on Namco earth   
  
Goku: There might be people outside so don't do anything stupid to scare them. GOTEN NOOO!!  
  
Goten has stuck his bare naked ass cheeks to the window & has the mega phone hooked to the outside of the ship.  
  
Goten: I am Skidmark-Antony , rear admiral of the invasion troop of Juli-ass Caesar, the emperor of  
  
Uranus. We have come to take over your world. HAHAHA--  
  
Goku snatches mega phone.  
  
Goku: You want to get us attacked idiot?  
  
Goten: Meanie.(Pulls gi pants back up & looks out the window)ha ha, the people here are big ugly guys  
  
with Lion heads & wrestling rings for houses, ha ha.  
  
Gohan: (Looks out the window) Jaguar heads idiot.  
  
Outside the ship note: King has Mexican accent  
  
King: Skidmark-Antony? This has got to be a prank No?  
  
Armor King: Ssshhh. *whispers* Someone's coming out. (door opens & smoke covers the entrance)  
  
King: A.K.?  
  
Armor King: What.  
  
King: Why are we whispering?....& hiding behind this couch?  
  
Smoke clears  
  
Vegeta: Greetings peasants! I am Vegeta, Prince of all saiya-jin! Do as I say & you shall live! Disobey & I  
  
will destroy you all with my super saiya-jin powers. Come out now Fools!  
  
Goku/Gohan/Goten/Trunks:*sigh*  
  
King: He seems nice enough. (Stands up). OLA ME AMIGOS!  
  
Both Kings walk up to new guys.  
  
Vegeta: Ola!?  
  
Trunks: I'm Trunks.  
  
Goten: I'm Goten  
  
Gohan: I'm Gohan.  
  
Goku: I'm Goku  
  
King: Gopu? What's Gopu?  
  
Armor King: You Idjeet! It's Poo smashed into Goo, Hence goo-poo.  
  
Armor King & King laugh Hysterically.  
  
King: No, no, we're just kidding. We should really be laughing at TRUNKS. HAHAHAHAHA! Look at me  
  
I'm wearing you.  
  
Trunks:*blushes*  
  
Gohan: Well If you've quite finished patronizing us--  
  
Armor King: Nope. We still have to say something about your hair. (Points to Vegeta)  
  
Vegeta: Listen here beast (lifts King up by throat) We're looking for 7 special sphere's. Now I'll put you  
  
down if your willing to give a bit of info. But if not...(charges free hand with ki)  
  
King: Hey shorty... I ain't off the ground yet. You Know me being two meters high & all & you barley  
  
reaching above 1.6 meters. But enough about me & my studly qualities. If your talking about 7 balls  
  
with stars printed in them, you gotta enter the King of iron fists tag tournament to win them.  
  
Armor King: But you ain't gonna win, me & King are because we're wrestlers & Tag-team is our territory.  
  
(poses with king in idiotic 80's pro-wrestling stance)  
  
Vegeta: Fools.  
  
Armor King: Hey do you know something about them balls. They have stars so they gotta have powers.  
  
You know about those powers don't ya .C'mon you can tell me about their powers.  
  
In a Briefing room with Lee & all the other combatants except the Mishima clan.  
  
Lee: O.K. people. Lets get underway. Who's not here?...... no one missing? O.K., first on the agenda I'll  
  
need your rules & conditions agreement slips for you to participate & also your catch copies.  
  
Nina: (from audience) Strip for all the ladies!!!  
  
Everyone: *laughs hysterically*  
  
Lee:(Blushing) can I have your slips now?  
  
Everyone hands in slips & catch copies.  
  
Lee: Um, guys.....Jackanese isn't an official nationality.  
  
Jack 2: Do you have a problem with the Jackanese?  
  
Lee: Uh... No, it's just that--  
  
P-Jack: Oh I see your game. The MFE is racist. Double standard for the Jackanese is it.  
  
Lee: It's not that--  
  
Gun Jack: EQUAL RIGHTS FOR JACKANESE! EQUAL RIGHTS FOR JACKANESE! EQUA--  
  
Lee: Never mind!! I'm sorry! Jesus try to do your job then suddenly your racist. Next on the agenda, I need  
  
to know who the teams are, so pick your partners & if you're spare stand against the wall so we can all  
  
point & jeer at your unpopularity &/or lack of fighting ability.  
  
Nina: (from audience) Hey handsome, what about you & me become partners eh. *wink*  
  
Lee: Sure. How about a grappling session in the dojo tonight.  
  
Nina : *seductive look*  
  
Lee: HA! I'm pulling yer leg, I already gotta a partner. HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! I don't like teaming with  
  
girls, they can't fight.  
  
Nina: (eyes go & mouth become really wobbly like in anime when they're about to cry) *runs out of room*  
  
Everyone looks at Lee convictingly.  
  
Anna: I hope you're happy!  
  
Lee: *sigh*  
  
20 minutes later everyone has a partner  
  
Lee: Next on the agenda is the buffet table. Would you prefer burgers or sushi? If anyone--  
  
(Saiya-jins walk in)  
  
Goku: Sorry we're late. Can we still join the tournament.  
  
Vegeta: No you fool. You have to be more demanding. Here watch. (clears throat) We're joining the  
  
tournament. You insolent losers are privileged to be allowed to even compete with saiya-jin  
  
greatness.  
  
Lee: What the..? Who are you guys.  
  
King: Hey it's our saiya-jin amigos.  
  
Lee: You know em?  
  
Armor King: Sure do. Let them join. It'll be great. They can make their hands glow.  
  
Lee: We all can moron. Alright then. But there's 5 of you. Can't make teams of three you know.  
  
Trunks: Goten & I will merge. We've been dying to see what the new Gotenks is like.  
  
Vegeta: I call Kakarot!  
  
Gohan: Damn!  
  
Goten & Trunks perform fusion dance. Gotenks appears. Gotenks speaks in the dual voice of Trunks & Goten. New Gotenks is good looking like eternal dragon made him.  
  
Anna: Hubba Hubba!  
  
Gohan: Please. He was in diapers when you were in high school lady.  
  
Gotenks: Don't mind him. He can't go Super saiya-jin 3 & is insanely jealous that he can't get babes like  
  
you.  
  
Gohan: Hello, I'm married! & I don't need to go Super Saiya-jin 3. I'm potentially the most powerful being  
  
in the universe.  
  
Lee: No one wants to know your life story so sit down. Now any questions.  
  
Wang: Hey how can you have a tournament with 17 teams. You need 16 or some multiple of 4 so the  
  
tournament boils down to a final & semi-final.  
  
Lee: Hey shut it with the questions. This is fan fiction, it doesn't need to make sense! Any more questions?  
  
Paul: Ooo! I gotta question. Hey Ling what happened to your bear. *evil smile. Cracks knuckles*  
  
Xiayou: Panda by the way!!  
  
Paul: Wutever.  
  
Xiayou: Well, he didn't come because Kuma is a stalker--  
  
Paul: Yeah sure. Don't need your life story.  
  
Lee: (waving) Hey I'm the host! Now You can all stay in the mansion & train in the dojo but you gotta go  
  
to the dinner party tonight so I can show off my new tux-- I mean because Heihachi will address all the  
  
participants.  
  
Bruce: Shouldn't you call the old man pops?  
  
Lee: *one finger salute*  
  
Tekken-Tag Partners Table  
  
Ling Xiayou & Wang  
  
Bruce & Lei  
  
Heihachi & Kuma  
  
Alex & Roger  
  
Gohan & Gotenks  
  
King & Armor King  
  
Yoshimitsu & Kunimitsu  
  
Lee & Kazuya  
  
Ganryu & Gun Jack  
  
Nina & Anna Williams  
  
Hwaorang & Baek  
  
Jin & Jun Kazama  
  
Eddy & Bryan  
  
Paul Phoenix & F. Law  
  
Michelle & Julia Chang  
  
Jack 2 & P Jack  
  
Goku & Vegeta  
  
Later that day. Everyone is messing around all over the Mishima estate.  
  
Nina & Anna are sparring in underwear only. Paul, Law, Lei, Bruce, King, Hwoarang, Baek, Jin & Gotenks all watch drooling.  
  
Lei: It's like a Kung Fu movie & Baywatch at the same time.  
  
Hwoarang: (taking pictures) money, money, money!  
  
Law: (with pop-corn) Hey shut up! I hate people who talk during the film.  
  
Baek: Too bad for Ganryu missing this, Michelle & Julia don't spar in their underwear.  
  
Paul: I don't think he cares.  
  
Jin: (watch alarm goes) It's dinner party time everybody.  
  
Lei: Sure, sure kid.  
  
Anna: Oh it's time for the dinner party.  
  
Nina: C'mon then. Bye perverts.  
  
Anna pulls off Nina's bra in the distance  
  
Hwoarang: NOOO! That was the money shot!  
  
Law: C'mon lets get to the party.  
  
At the party  
  
Paul: Hey how did we get into our tuxedos by just walking here.  
  
Lei: Who cares. I'm just glad I didn't have to do my own bow tie.  
  
Baek: Or cufflinks. Gotta hate them cufflinks.  
  
King: Well my Latino style tux is so much better.  
  
Kazuya: (from behind) Hello!  
  
Bruce/Baek/Paul/Law/Hwoarang/Jin/King: *scream like little school girls in high pitched voices*  
  
Lee: Boo!!!  
  
King: (sarcastically) eek.  
  
Lee: What! It works for everyone else?  
  
Kazuya: Maybe it does. Maybe it doesn't--  
  
Jun: Knock that out both of you.  
  
Enter Heihachi:  
  
Heihachi: Hey, good evening everyone. Nice to see you all here & I gotta tell you folks, organizing a  
  
Fighting tournament these days is hard work. In fact you might say It was illegal, HA HA HA  
  
HA....  
  
Everyone: *silence*  
  
Heihachi: Hey what is this a morgue?  
  
Goku: (from audience) Get off the stage!  
  
Heihachi: Well first of all I've heard that the tournament prize of 7 stone balls may have magical powers &  
  
that we have some people among us who know of them so here to educate us on their special  
  
powers, TRUNKS BRIEFS.  
  
Spotlight on Trunks  
  
Trunks: Me? Well...(fixes hair & walks up onto stage)  
  
Heihachi: So tell us about these here stone balls that are apparently better than a solid gold trophy of my  
  
head.  
  
Trunks: *fidgets with fingers*  
  
Yoshimitsu: (from audience) Your names are both items of Underwear!  
  
Everyone: *laughs*  
  
Trunks does burning attack onto Yoshi  
  
Yoshimitsu: (burned & smoking) ouch. That hurt. *faint*  
  
Trunks: Well you see in a year, these dragonballs will grant you wish but--  
  
Everyone: *spits out their drink*  
  
Heihachi: A wish you say?  
  
Trunks: Yes, but--  
  
Ganryu: I can wish for Michelle & Julia ,he he he....  
  
Michelle: Hey Julia, we can wish for Ganryu to become gay or something.  
  
Kazuya: I can wish for Jin not to be gay  
  
Jin: Dad, I'm not gay. I buy playbo--  
  
Jun: You buy what!?  
  
Nina: I can wish for Lee. He he he......  
  
Heihachi: I'll rule the world, HAHAHA!  
  
Trunks: But you don't understand,...  
  
Gohan: I don't think they care anymore.  
  
Next day at tournament site. Everyone is standing out in the yard ready to fight.  
  
Heihachi: Is everyone here?  
  
Lee: According to my register, couple of missing people but mostly everyone present.  
  
Goku: I'm hungry  
  
Vegeta: C'mon Kakarot I gave you my breakfast already.  
  
Heihachi: Shut it with your complaints weak fools.  
  
Vegeta: I'll show you weak. I bet I can destroy you with one Final flash attack. HAHAHAHAHA!  
  
Heihachi: Oh yeah. Just try it & I'll hypersextend your neck.  
  
Everyone: *laughs hysterically*  
  
Heihachi: What?  
  
Kunimitsu: You said hypersextend.  
  
Enter paul  
  
Paul: Sorry I'm late everyone.  
  
Everyone: *laughs hysterically*  
  
Paul: what?  
  
Eddy: You're zips down.  
  
Paul: *blush* (turns round & zips up)  
  
Enter Jin  
  
Jin: Sorry I'm late everyone.  
  
Everyone: *laughs hysterically*  
  
Enter Jun  
  
Jun: Jin, Hon! Your wearing non-matching gauntlets!  
  
Jin: (Looks down & sure enough he's wearing a red left glove & a blue right glove)  
  
Jun: Don't worry here's your other Blue one.  
  
Jin: Mom! You know its red gloves with red flame gi.  
  
Jun: Well it so happens I've brought your Blue flame gi, your deodorant, your towel, your energy drink &  
  
your bandages.  
  
Jin: (sarcastically) Oh gee! I hope my bottle is in there.  
  
Anywho  
  
Vegeta: We can defeat These peasants easily Kakarot.  
  
Goku: Not me, I`m hungry. Besides I think the author has taken down our powers so that these guys stand a  
  
chance.  
  
Vegeta: I'll start off then.  
  
Bruce gets into his Muay thai stance while Vegeta charges up. He charges towards Bruce & punches him. Bruce goes flying through a Brick wall.  
  
Goku: Wow. That was easy.  
  
Vegeta: Next!  
  
Bruce. Yo! Mutha. I ain't done yet.  
  
Vegeta: (thinking) No way. That was one of my best punches.  
  
Bruce: Well It ain't so hard punk.  
  
Vegeta: You idiot. That was supposed to be in my head.  
  
Bruce: Well sorry--  
  
Vegeta continues assault with flurry of kicks & punches. Bruce parries a kick & throws a knee into Vegeta's mid section. Bruce tags out & Lei takes advantage of the winded Vegeta with a Lying down Kangaroo kick. Vegeta regains senses in the air & avoids Lei's juggle.  
  
Vegeta: *spits out blood*  
  
Lei: *Crane stance*  
  
Goku/Vegeta: * laugh hysterically, jeer & point*  
  
Lei blushes & gets out of crane stance. Vegeta turns super saiya-jin & attacks Lei with a kick combo. Lei parries a kick & punches Vegeta in the stomach. Vegeta merely laughs & lifts Lei by the neck. While suspended in Mid air, Lei charges foot with ki & Kicks Vegeta right square in the......well, you know where. Needless to say Vegeta tags out.  
  
Goku: (Turned around & adjusting crotch guard) Just a minute.  
  
Goku stands there. Lei Goes on the offensive with jumping crescent kicks but is caught by Goku who slams him to the ground. Lei tags Bruce back in & trades punches with Goku. Bruce eventually gets the better of Goku & Grabs him & puts a series of Knees into his head & gut. The beaten & bruised Goku stands back up to the amazement of everyone. He goes Super Saiya-jin, dashes towards Bruce & puts a combo of Kicks & punches to him ending the sequence with an uppercut. Vegeta then finishes with a Vegeta hammer right into the ground. Bruce is K.O.'d.  
  
Vegeta: Ha ha h ha. & that's all she wrote.  
  
Lei: Ouch. Bet that hurt.  
  
Goku: What happened to that replay sequence thingy?  
  
Technician: Heihachi scrapped it from the budget.  
  
Goku: Cheap-skate!  
  
Anyhow, somewhere else  
  
Gun Jack: Give it up Kazuya. You'll never beat me. Your too stupid & careless.  
  
Kazuya: Never! I'll win.! I always win!  
  
Gun Jack: Checkmate!  
  
Kazuya: NNOOOOOOOOOOO!  
  
P-Jack: Don't feel bad. He can calculate 2, 235, 856 outcomes at a time. And you can only  
  
calculate.....snicker, snicker....TWO!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!  
  
Kazuya: REMATCH! NOW!  
  
Starts setting up board again  
  
Lee: Hey bro! We're up.  
  
Kazuya: (ignoring) Good for her.  
  
Lee: Its Nina & Anna. Remember the strategy.  
  
Kazuya: Sure. Knock yourself out.  
  
Lee: Your not listening to me are You.  
  
Kazuya: That's great.  
  
Lee: Well in that case, It was me who lost your marriage certificate, dent your car & I sold photos of you  
  
training nude to some college girls for a box of illegal limited edition Menthol cigarettes.  
  
Kazuya: Yup.  
  
Lee: Your Porsche has been stolen!  
  
Kazuya: Yeah, Yeah. Send `em a `thank you' note.  
  
Lee: Your wife is in labour.  
  
Kazuya: It wasn't me.  
  
Lee: Can I have a raise?  
  
Kazuya: NO! OUT OF THE QUESTION! You already get paid a lot! You greedy $^!*. Now look, you got  
  
me swearing. C'mon lets take my anger out on those girls.  
  
Somewhere else again.  
  
Nina: Where are those two. Actually, just Lee.  
  
Anna: Can't wait to get your hands on the lad?  
  
Nina: Aye! Not to mention a few other body parts.  
  
Lee: Sorry we're late.  
  
Kazuya: I'm not. HAHAHAHA!  
  
Nina: I'll go first.  
  
Lee: I'll go last.  
  
Nina: Fine! Anna you first.  
  
Kazuya: GGGRRRR!!!  
  
Anna: Oooh. I'm so scared of scary Kazuya making scary sounds to scare me.  
  
Anna starts the match with a kick to the face. Kazuya remains motionless & merely jerks his head back. Anna Goes for another kick but this time to the chest. Kazuya Once again remains still.  
  
Lee: Show off!  
  
Nina: You might be in trouble there luv!  
  
Kazuya: You hit like a girl.  
  
Kazuya suddenly puts a gut punch to Anna's.........well gut off course. Anna buckles & Nina comes in her place. Kazuya once again stands rock solid. Nina learning from her sisters suffering & does a crab claw & links all the way to a rolling Achilles tendon lock. Kazuya is determined to not be out done by a female & does not scream like a schoolgirl in pain.  
  
Determined to be a male chauvinistic pig, Kazuya fights on limping.  
  
Nina easily dominates the Injured Mishima with a storm of palm strikes & kicks before tagging in Anna. But before Anna can lay a hit in, Lee taps Kazuya's limp body.  
  
Lee: There I'm in now.  
  
Anna: You can't do that!  
  
Lee: I just did!  
  
Kazuya: (barely able to talk) Let me back in you fool.  
  
Lee: I would but you'd just pull off an unlikely yet clear victory that gets you all the credit & makes my  
  
fighting skill seem futile.  
  
Kazuya: Well, If you put it like that.  
  
Lee is blind sided by Anna with 2 slaps & then 3 left kicks all of which Lee blocks. Unfortunately for him, he didn't anticipate the final roundhouse & is floored. Anna then lays a heel into Lee's groin. Nina, absolutely horrified, slaps Anna.  
  
Nina: You stupid tart! What do you think you're doing?  
  
Anna: I'm trying to win us wishes. You know so you can have him (points to Lee crumpled over holding  
  
groin)  
  
Lee: Mommy....  
  
Anna: Well its no good if I can't bear his wee babies is it now?  
  
Anna & Nina both get into a fight & refuse to work together therefore forfeiting the tournament. Now, somewhere else.  
  
Lee: Yes! We won.  
  
Kazuya: Don't get so `cocky'! Gettit, `cocky' HAHAHAHAHA!  
  
Lee: Funny Biatch ain't ya!  
  
Heihachi: Well boys there's still more tournament to go. We'll see if getting kicked in the nuts will carry you  
  
all the way to the finals against me..........(MANIACAL LAUGHTER).  
  
TO BE CONTINUED..........  
  
End of part 1 


	2. 2

Part II  
  
In the last episode of SDDTMUA, Kazuya & Lee had barely managed to pull a victory against the femme fatale team of Anna & Nina while Goku & Vegeta gained a victory against Bruce & Lei. Will the Saiya-jins continue to defeat all their opponents or will they be eliminated? Things are heating up, & what does Heihachi have in store? All that maniacal laughter must have some meaning behind it. You don't want to miss a single second of today's episode of SDDTMA. (that's dissin the American DBZ)  
  
Somewhere in the fighting area  
  
Nina: We shouldn't have lost. We had them beat.  
  
Anna: Well, we're out of the tournament, you'll just have to find some other way to  
  
get Lee. Personally, all you have to do is send him photos of you*  
  
Nina: Nay. Those dragonballs are the only way. We'll just have to steal them.  
  
Anna: What's in it for me?  
  
Nina: I dunna know.  
  
Anna: How `bout you give me back all the underwear you stole from me over the  
  
years.  
  
Nina: NAY!  
  
Anna: I ain't helping you then lass. Yer on your own.  
  
Nina: I dunna need your help anyway.  
  
Anna: And I also might grass about your plan.  
  
Nina: Bitch!  
  
Anna: (smirks) T'is a deal then.  
  
Nina: (frustratedly) Aye, t'is a deal.  
  
Somewhere else  
  
Michelle: No way!  
  
Paul: I swear!  
  
Michelle: Then what?  
  
Paul: Dad beat the crap out of him.  
  
Julia: But how did he know it was him who tried to sexually harass your mother.  
  
Paul: Simple, we found her panties in the back of his car.  
  
Julia/Michelle: (nervous laughs)  
  
Law: We're up Paul boy.  
  
Paul: Cool.  
  
(Paul & Law walk away)  
  
Law: Did you hear what those saiya-jin guys did to Bruce & Lei? They might just win  
  
this tournament!  
  
Paul: Yeah I know, still we might be able to handle them if we make it to them.  
  
Law: You got another plan*  
  
Ganryu: Hey Phoenix my main man! How's it hangin.  
  
Paul: What d'you want fatboy?  
  
Ganryu: (Grabs Paul's Jacket) Please, you gotta tell me how you did it.  
  
Paul: Did what? What are you talking about?  
  
Ganryu: Michelle and Julia, you were flirting with them, talking to them, making  
  
them laugh. You gotta tell me how to do that.  
  
Paul: Flirting!? I was just telling them*  
  
Ganryu: I know where there's a kodiac & grizzly bear plantation.  
  
Paul: Well if you put it that way.....  
  
In Heihachi's office where the dragonballs are kept.  
  
Heihachi: (looking over all his estate): HAHAHAHAHA. I'm so powerful,  
  
so very, very powerful. HAHAHA. I love the power. It makes me laugh  
  
because it makes me feel witty............I feel so witty, so witty &  
  
pretty & glad. I feel so powerful,, so powerful & evil &  
  
glad..........  
  
While Heihachi sings away and suspects nothing, Nina & Anna Sneak in.  
  
Nina: Quick, while he's singing away and suspects nothing.  
  
Anna: Aye.  
  
Heihachi: I feel so .......so.....so....  
  
Anna: Silly, dear.  
  
Heihachi: Yes that's it, thanks.... Hey! What are you doing here. I'm sure its to  
  
pleasure me.  
  
Nina: EEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWW!  
  
Anna: Quick! Lets get out o' here. Top o' the mornin to ya sir but we really must be  
  
leaving.  
  
Nina: What are ye doin' lass. There's two of us, we can take him.  
  
Heihachi: (very `Sonic The Hedgehog' like and tapping 1 foot) I don't think so.  
  
And to further humiliate you, I shall fight with an annoying imitation Irish  
  
accent that insults your Irish heritage, HAHAHAHAHA! Now te start. I'm  
  
goin'te take ye oot!  
  
Anna: That's Scottish! Yer just pissin us off now sonny!  
  
Heihachi: Quiet ye foolish garl.  
  
Nina: You'll pay!  
  
Nina & Anna both hurt Heihachi severely and tie him into His chair  
  
Nina: That'll learn ye!  
  
Heihachi: Nay it wain't!  
  
Anna rears hand back to slap Heihachi but Kazuya & Lee walk in.  
  
Lee:...but the thing is I don't like Irish women.  
  
Kazuya: I hear ya. I only picked Jun because of her pure Japanese*  
  
Heihachi: Aach! Me wee lads.  
  
Kazuya: Tou-san?  
  
Lee: Oh no, the gaijin have taken our sensei. They're in control now!  
  
Anna: Don't like Irish women eh!?  
  
Nina: But hey, we're in control now.  
  
Lee: Never! (gets into fighting stance)  
  
Nina gets out a dagger & sticks it to Heihachi's throat.  
  
Nina: You'll do what you be told.  
  
Heihachi: Listen to tha lass. I'm too young to be dead....I mean dyd!  
  
Anna: Quit it with tha' crap accent!  
  
Heihachi: Dun'na get yer kilt up lass, although....  
  
Nina: If you want to save yer ol' man, ye better be ready to pleasure me!  
  
Anna: Oi, you lads with the riffles in black armour! Sort these 2 out!  
  
Lee: Quick! Lets get some help!  
  
Kazuya: I don't need no help! I'm so powerful* (clenches fist but is grabbed by Lee)  
  
Lee: Not now tough guy. We gotta go.  
  
Lee & Kazuya run away closely pursued by the men. They get outside & go down some alley that conveniently happens to have dumpsters which the men conveniently don't search.  
  
Lee: They're gone! That was close.  
  
Kazuya: Hey look! Porn mags.  
  
Lee: (ignoring) We need to get the empire back!  
  
Kazuya: My god! Look what she's doing with those nun-chucks. That can't be legal.  
  
Lee: Who do you think would help us?  
  
Kazuya: Nice improvising.  
  
Lee: Maybe those Saiya-jins would. They're really strong & they can fly. We just got  
  
to offer them those Dragonballs.  
  
Meanwhile  
  
Anna: So you say we're in charge of the whole MFE now.  
  
Heihachi: Aye. As long as ye keep me alive. As yer hostage.  
  
Nina:*exasperated sigh*  
  
Heihachi: But the second ye leave, I will have ye shot in yer legs, amputate all yer  
  
Limbs, then personally beat you while chained to a stake with a pair of  
  
spiked iron gloves... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA..*deep  
  
breath*...HAHAHA!  
  
Anna/Nina: Both stare blankly at Heihachi.  
  
Heihachi: *nervous laughs*I said that out loud didn't I?. Did I mention if you leave  
  
now I'll let you go unharmed.  
  
Nina: He's a couple of gold coins short of a pot. We'll have te think of a way to  
  
escape while bringing him with us. But that's too risky, If he escapes he'll rape  
  
us and then kill us.  
  
Anna: Or kill us and rape us  
  
Heihachi: Or rape ye and rape ye again. But I can't kill ye and kill ye again, because  
  
you'd already be dyd.  
  
Nina: We'll have to grudgingly stay here among all this luxury and servants until we  
  
can come up with a plan. Well, looks like we're in charge for now.  
  
Anna: Lets give it a go. Oi, you! Bake me a metre high cake in 2 minutes, an you  
  
two...um....fight to the death!  
  
Servant 1 & 2 shrug. Then servant 1 breaks a champagne bottle, servant 2 grabs   
  
dai-katana off the wall  
  
Across the estate  
  
Law: My god, your wife's that bad!?  
  
Lei: The horror.  
  
Goku: I know. And then after that, she makes me do it again.  
  
Vegeta: She just loves your body Kakarot.  
  
Hwoarang: I ain't never getting married!  
  
Gohan: Can I take my fingers out of my ears now.  
  
Goku: *nods*  
  
Vegeta: Trunks, cover your ears.  
  
Megaphone on estate:...so you press this button & talk into it. Oh I see.....Ahem!  
  
testing, testing. Anna is so sexy! Hey this is Anna.  
  
Everyone: HI ANNA!  
  
Anna: Just letting everyone know. We've taken over & your lives are for us to toy  
  
with now. Resistance is useless since we got all those guys in black & all them  
  
remote controlled booby traps in this place. Don't try calling for outside help,  
  
the estate has been sealed off with solid steel walls, phone lines are dead, all  
  
cell-phone signals have been scrambled. See ya later!  
  
Trunks: OH NO! Not solid steel. We'll never get through (starts crying)  
  
Vegeta: Weak child. I could destroy this wall with Final flash.  
  
King: Don't be sucha stupido!  
  
Vegeta: No watch! (starts up final flash in palm)  
  
Baek: That's just ki. I could do that when I was 18.  
  
Vegeta: Well I could do it when I was 6 months old.  
  
Hwoarang: (really annoying sceptic tone) So! It's still just ki!  
  
Vegeta: All right then, hands up everyone here who's descended from an ancient &  
  
powerful warrior race with monkey tails. (raises hand)  
  
Goku/Gotenks/Gohan: *Raise hands*  
  
King: *raises hand*  
  
Armor King: *elbows King in the ribs*  
  
King: *Lowers hand*, *cheesy grin*  
  
Vegeta: HA! Thought so!!  
  
Vegeta destroys wall as promised with Final flash  
  
Yoshimitsu: Well you sure showed us. And to think, we all doubted you. Now what?  
  
Vegeta: I don't know. Why did I do this again?  
  
Goku: Beats me, lets all go take a walk.  
  
They do so  
  
Meanwhile  
  
Kazuya: Hey shouldn't we get outta here now. Its cramped!  
  
Lee: Its safer in here. Surprisingly enough it doesn't smell that bad neither.  
  
????: I can do something about that.  
  
Kazuya: NOO! Please don't!!  
  
Lee: Who's there?  
  
Kazuya: Boskonovitch? What are you doing here?  
  
Dr B: I'm wanted. Just like you are Lee.  
  
Lee: Wanted by who?  
  
Kazuya/Dr.B: *stare at Lee like he's the stupidest guy in the world*  
  
Lee: Why are you wanted then?  
  
Dr. B: They want me to find a way to turn those balls back from stone faster.  
  
Kazuya: What do they want to wish for?  
  
Lee/Dr.B: *stare at Kazuya like he's the stupidest guy in the world*  
  
Dr B: What do you 2 plan to do to save your father?  
  
Lee/Kazuya: *stare at Dr B like he's the stupidest guy in the world*  
  
Lee: What's the reward for my capture?  
  
Kazuya: *looks at Lee like he's the stupidest guy in the world but soon realizes it  
  
wasn't a dumb question resulting in embarrassment*  
  
Dr B: The captor gets to go free.  
  
Kazuya: What do they plan to do with the dragonballs then?  
  
Dr B: They'll probably wish for the world?  
  
Back with the girls  
  
Anna: Hey lets wish for the world since ye can just have Lee anyway without the  
  
Dragonballs.  
  
Nina: I still have ta wish for Lee for me self other wise it wain't be love.  
  
Heihachi: ...you elevate my soul, I got no self control, been  
  
Living like a mole now, going down, Excavation  
  
Higher now! in the sky. You make me feel like I can fly,  
  
EL-EV-AT-ION!! WHOOO*  
  
Nina: SHUT UP!! SHUT UP!! SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!  
  
Heihachi: mumble mumble... can't even sing in my own...mumble...office. By the  
  
way, you two be in a situatuion ye can'na control. You came here to thieve  
  
me balls and ye were caught. You happen to have an advantage with me  
  
tied up in a chair but ye can'na win.  
  
Anna: Thaaank yooou, mister obvious.  
  
Nina: But ye be wrong. You see, I will win an Lee will be mine. And I'll also kill ye  
  
before I go cuz your such a bastard. HA HAHA HAHA HAHA.  
  
Heihachi: I think this lifestyle has corrupted you.  
  
Nina: Damn right (sits back on sunbed with martini & turns on 128" T.V. to a soccer match)  
  
Heihachi: Aye! That be the stuff. Celtics are up two nil.  
  
Back with the morons wandering around aimlessly  
  
King: Hey did you hear that everyone?  
  
Vegeta: What!?  
  
King: Some voice just called us wandering morons.  
  
Armor King: *whispers to group* One piledriver too many.  
  
King: My super enhanced jaguar-like senses heard that!  
  
*Kaz, Lee & DrB come round corner*  
  
Lei: Its them who we have to catch to go free.  
  
Bruce: Get them.  
  
Lee: Wait! You're not allowed to catch me.  
  
Law: Oh yeah? Why?  
  
Lee: Because...because.. it says so in the rule book.  
  
Hwoarang: What rule book?  
  
Lee: (turns round & pencil scratchings can be heard) Here.  
  
Post-it reading: Rule # 49-C : Lee Chaolan cannot be captured to satisfy the agenda of a third party that will benefit from such an act and will compensate the capturing party in return.  
  
Trunks: It's 1 page long.  
  
Lee:......Condensed version. Ain't it Kaz?  
  
Kazuya: *picking his ear* Huh!?  
  
Lee: Say yes.  
  
Kazuya: Does it say how good I am?  
  
Lee: Sure it does.  
  
Kazuya: Yes.  
  
Goku: Well if the rules say so. You can't go round breaking rules. If everyone did  
  
that then the world would just be*  
  
Gohan: Shut up dad.  
  
Lee: All of you have to help me get this place back.  
  
Baek: Why?  
  
Lee: (turns round & pencil scratchings can be heard) Cuz its in the*  
  
Gotenks: O.K. we believe you.  
  
Goku: So where do we start?  
  
Meanwhile in*  
  
King: See there it is again! That voice it just said meanwhile in...  
  
Armor King: (Mexican profanities telling King to stop being crazy)  
  
Paul: Hi everyone.  
  
Law: Where've you been.  
  
Paul: Practising my textbook flipkicks.  
  
Law/Paul: *laugh hysterically*  
  
Paul: HAHAHAHA, I cant even say it with a straight face! HAHAHAHAHA!!  
  
Law: HAHAHAHA,Yup! HAHA, we both know you were beating up bears.HAHA...  
  
Paul: Well seriously, yes. So whassup?  
  
Kazuya: Nothin'. Watchin' the game, havin a Bud.  
  
Lee: Ha ha! It's funny cos he's ripping off Budweiser and could get sued.  
  
Lei: Yep. I oughta arrest you.  
  
Kazuya: But, you're not allowed to catch us.  
  
Lei: Actually, we can't catch Lee. Check the rules..  
  
Kazuya: (turns round and pencil scratchings can be heard) Here, it's the revised  
  
version.  
  
Post-it reading: Rule #49-D. Please don't catch Kazuya because ...  
  
Lei: Because what?  
  
Kazuya: Shutup, that's what!  
  
Jun: (comes in & sees Kazuya) So there you are! I've been looking all over for you.  
  
Where have you been!?  
  
Kazuya: I've been cheating on you.  
  
Jun: You liar! You were with Lee!  
  
Kazuya: I think we screwed that up.  
  
Jun: Oh well, lets make out. (does so)  
  
(Jin, Bryan, Eddy, Yoshi, Kuni & Ling enter)  
  
Jin: EEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWW! GROOOOSSSSSSS.  
  
So whats happenin.  
  
Kazuya: Me an yer mother are*  
  
Jin: I mean with everyone else thanks.  
  
(Michelle Julia come round the corner with Ganryu disguised like a bush...... no, a giant redwood following them)  
  
Michelle: Was that tree there before?  
  
(Ganryu sneaks up to Paul)  
  
Paul: Here's your chance. Open up with something funny then ask her about her day.  
  
She'll talk a bit. Just nod & say yup. Like this (does so)  
  
Ganryu: So. Michelle. Hi.... How `bout those native americans. I hear that they don't  
  
have phones & that they use smoke signals. HAHAHA..haha..ha..ha.... shit!  
  
Goku: Hey we got quite a big group. Lets just do the angry mob thing.  
  
Lee: Alright. I didn't have a plan anyhow!  
  
Bruce: What's with that drawing then.  
  
Lee: That's me doing a silver cyclone on someone.  
  
Kazuya: Can I seeee?  
  
Lee: Nooooooo.  
  
Bruce: (Looking at Lee's former `plan') Ha ha. He's got pointy hair.  
  
Vegeta: So anyone got any pitchforks & torches?  
  
Kunimitsu: I got loads.  
  
Yoshimitsu: Why!?  
  
Kunimitsu: You never know. (empties contents of bag 1" x 1" yet still manages to make a pile 2 meters high)  
  
Armor King: Alright. You wanted to be in an angry mob, so you joined Mob Club.  
  
Now, the first rule of Mob Club is, you do not talk about Mob Club.  
  
The second rule of Mob Club is, you do not talk about Mob Club. The  
  
third rule of Mob Club is, you do not talk about Mob Club, the  
  
fourth.....  
  
some time later:  
  
...............the tenth rule of mob club is, you do not talk about fight club. It's a  
  
terrible movie with an awful cast. The ending twist is also crap. Now,  
  
Any questions?  
  
On the next episode, find out if the mob club succeeds or fails. Or maybe somewhere in between. Oh! I know. What if they succeed, but fail if you know what I mean, or if they fail but succeed in doing it? Or maybe they go to a party & get drunk but succeed but then* OK I'll shut up!! Geez! 


	3. 3

In the last episode, The mob club advances towards Anna & Nina. This couldn't be good for the sisters, but its brilliant for Heihachi. Its been recently pointed out to me that Trunks & Gotenks are indeed present at the same time (isn't possible). So as to cover up for my slack, I'll just say that Gotenks split up some time unbeknownst to you all & I'm the writer, so what I say goes. NEH!  
  
Everyone: MOB CLUB! MOB CLUB! MOB CLUB!!  
  
Gohan: Hey everyone, this sign says no Mob Clubs beyond this point.  
  
Armor King: AH! CRAP!! Nothing good ever happens to me!!  
  
Jun: We can all read by the way.  
  
Bruce: Well, actually, some of us Americans can't read Japanese you know.  
  
Bryan: Nope. Just you. I can.  
  
Paul: College major for me.  
  
Law: What he said.  
  
Michelle: We can. And we're half Chinese.  
  
Julia: Yeah you ignorant bastard!  
  
Bruce: (cries at his narrow minded ways)  
  
Vegeta: Move over losers!  
  
Vegeta final flashes sign with unnecessary brutality.  
  
Vegeta: What sign?  
  
Goku: You can't just go around breaking rules. Why if everyone did that*  
  
Vegeta: Shut up Kakarot.  
  
Mob club continues to march until they get to the Tower.   
  
Trunks: There's only one lift people. & the maximum is 250KG  
  
Ganryu: Oh well. I'll have to stay down here *sob, sniff*  
  
Michelle/Julia: (quietly) Yes!  
  
King: My super Jaguar like senses heard that too*  
  
Armor King: So what!? Mine did too. You don't see me making a big fiesta about it.  
  
Trunks: 250kg, that's not very much. I thought you people would be able to afford  
  
better elevators.  
  
Jin: Well you see the thing is (turns around & pencil scratching can be heard).  
  
Gohan: Ignore him everyone. (gets out calculator) I'll need to know everyone's  
  
weight.  
  
All women : (Laugh nervously)  
  
Gohan: Jun?  
  
Jun: 49 kg  
  
Someone: *coughbollockscough*  
  
Jun: Ok, its 54 kg  
  
Gohan: Michelle?  
  
Michelle: 53 kg  
  
Jun: Um...Actually, mines 52 kg.  
  
Michelle: Well then I'm 50 kg  
  
Gohan: You know what? You two can go last. Julia?  
  
Julia: Save yourselves the trouble & just whisper. (whispers weight to Gohan)  
  
King/Armor King: *laugh hysterically*  
  
King: Someone needs to lay off the cheese burritos.  
  
Armor King: Good one! High five!  
  
Yoshimitsu: Well no one knows my weight. Cause I'm shrouded in mystery.  
  
HAHAHAHA!  
  
Goten: Just tell us!  
  
Yoshimitsu: I can't. It's mysterious.  
  
Trunks: You don't know, do you!?  
  
Yoshimitsu: (hangs head) No sir. The last time I got on a pair of scales was a long  
  
time ago.  
  
Many hours of hassle later  
  
Gohan: OK HE'S 63 GODDAM KGs! FINALLY. You can get in the lift with Baek,  
  
Bryan & King.  
  
Yoshimitsu: That's OK. I can fly.  
  
Gohan: (grits teeth very loudly. Then speaks slowly) Before I kill Yoshimitsu, who  
  
else can fly apart from my family & Yoshi?  
  
Vegeta: Me!  
  
Gohan: I said apart from my family!  
  
Vegeta: I'm not your family.  
  
Gohan: You know what I mean.  
  
Vegeta: I know. I'm just being immature & annoying. Besides just cause your  
  
saiya-jin, doesn't make us related.  
  
Gohan: Well I can go to your daughter & do something about that!  
  
Goku: Gohan!  
  
Gohan: Sorry. I'm just really stressed right now.  
  
Trunks: I'll take over calculations.  
  
Gohan: Thanks (sits in corner & breaks down nervously).  
  
Trunks: So as he was saying, who else can fly?  
  
Jin: I can fly when I'm devil Jin.  
  
Trunks: Weellllll, are you devil Jin right now?  
  
Jin: No.  
  
Trunks: THEN SHUT UP!!!  
  
Kunimitsu: I can teleport.  
  
Trunks: Ok, go into the lifts in these groups.  
  
Goku: Flyers follow me.  
  
At the top.  
  
Nina: What's that gold stuff in the bowl?  
  
Heihachi: Oo that. That be Ambrosia lass.  
  
Nina: Ambrosia!!  
  
Anna: You mean the mythical & legendary food of the Gods that if eaten by mortals  
  
turns them into Gods.  
  
Heihachi: Well if ye be wannti' te be technical.  
  
Nina: How did you get it old man?  
  
Heihachi: Well this friend of mine, Lara she be called. She likes to raid them tombs &  
  
pinch things. She sent me `em this Christmas.  
  
Anna: Why haven't you taken any?!!  
  
Heihachi: T'is gold. That means its pineapple flavour. Eeck!!  
  
Anna: So what? You could of become a God & ruled the world by now.  
  
Heihachi: Hello! What don't ye understand ye plank. Its pineapple. Ye know,  
  
pineapple....  
  
PINEAPPLE: A fibrous type fruit grown on stalks native te Endonesia. Also  
  
tastes like bog bombs.  
  
Nina: You mean Indonesia.  
  
Heihachi: Whitever.  
  
Anna: Shall we take some. I don't trust him.  
  
Nina: Aye. I know.  
  
Z Squad & Yoshi burst in.  
  
Goku: Give it up Cell ..er.. I mean.....Hey Yoshi what's their names.  
  
Yoshimitsu: Anna & Nina.  
  
Goku: Yeah ok....um, Anna & Nina.  
  
Vegeta: Yeah. We even have back up coming. (points to lift dial)  
  
Lift dial goes to `2^nd'. A minute later to `3^rd'. & so on  
  
Gohan: Wow. That's slow  
  
Back in lift  
  
Lei: You idiot! Now we're gonna stop on every floor!!  
  
Hwoarang: Sorry. I thought you were meant to push all the buttons.  
  
At the top  
  
Anna: I think we should take the ambrosia now.  
  
Nina: Agreed! (both dive for bowl & take a piece then throw bowl out of the window so no one else can have any)  
  
Anna: Ha! Were goddesses now.  
  
Sure enough both of them have the super saiya-jin style glow & glowing eyes.  
  
Trunks: Oh man! Unreal!!  
  
Goten: You always say that!  
  
Trunks: I know.  
  
Elevator: *Ping* *door slides*  
  
Lei: It's the right floor everyone.  
  
Fire exit bursts open & everyone else bursts through but are panting like hell.  
  
Law: I'm fine because I've got Bruce Lee stamina.  
  
Bryan: Why didn't you wait for the lift?  
  
Law: Too long. Who pressed all the buttons?  
  
Lei: It was Hwoarang.  
  
Eddy: Ya Man! In yo face. Pay up!  
  
Armor King: Damn! (hands over $5)  
  
Paul: Hey look, they're gods now.  
  
Anna: Oh good eye Phoenix, did ye just notice now?  
  
Kazuya: I don't care, cause I'm convinced I'm hard. & your not. I'll take you  
  
Both on.(charges)  
  
Lee: Better help him out Jin.  
  
Jin: Better do. (Both charge)  
  
Two seconds later, Anna & Nina Have immobilized Jin & Kazuya  
  
Lee: Hehehe. It's a good thing I was at the back.  
  
Everyone: *Stares at Lee with contempt for his cowardice*  
  
Lee: What?  
  
Jin: That hurt.  
  
Kazuya: Sure did.  
  
Anna: How shall we kill them.  
  
Heihachi: Don't throw them from a high distance, that will'ne do jack. Believe me, I  
  
know.  
  
Nina: Out the window?  
  
Anna: Why not. (does so)  
  
Jun: Thanks a lot dad!  
  
Horrible splat heard from outside the window  
  
Heihachi: Keep yer kilt on. Look.  
  
Elevator going up from ground to top.  
  
Elevator: *ping* (Kazuya & Jin emerge unscathed)  
  
Everyone: *loud cheers & whistles*  
  
Hwoarang: (holds up score card of 10)  
  
Xiaoyu: (holds up score card of 10)  
  
Julia: (holds up score card of 10)  
  
Jun: (holds up score card of 10)  
  
Eddy: (holds up score card of 9.5)  
  
Everyone: BOOO!!  
  
Eddy: (turns card round to 10)  
  
Everyone: *Cheers wildly*  
  
Lee: (goes up & gives Kazuya & Jin gold medals. Japanese national anthem is played)  
  
Anna: Enough! All of you!!  
  
Nina: We've defeated two of the strongest Tekken characters so you have no chance.  
  
Goku: Wrong!  
  
Vegeta: We're not Tekken characters. I can kill you both with one final flash.  
  
Anna: Fine. I'll stand here & you can try.  
  
Vegeta: *laughs like the arrogant bastard he is*  
  
Goku: EVERYONE GET OUT!!!  
  
Vegeta starts charging up making unnecessary grunting noises to emphasize effort. Meanwhile everyone piles down the stairs except Jin & Kazuya who jump out the window. Everyone has tripped over each other & are now piled at the bottom of the stairs.  
  
Kunimitsu: (from somewhere in the pile) Someone's got their hand where it shouldn't  
  
be...Unless its Jin, Hwoarang or Lee. Then I don't care.  
  
Hwoarang: Damn! Missed!  
  
Ganryu: HEY! DOG PILE!!  
  
Paul: Uh oh.  
  
Michelle: GANRYU, NO!!  
  
Ganryu: WHHHEEEEEEE!!  
  
Meanwhile upstairs  
  
Vegeta: (already charging up) This is gonna hurt you. But I bet you'll just move out  
  
the way. Hahaha!  
  
Anna: *just stands with folded arms, smiling*  
  
Screams of anguish can be heard from downstairs  
  
Vegeta : (Still charging, looks down stairwell in wonder)  
  
Back downstairs  
  
Ganryu: That was fun (gets up to reveal Baek)  
  
Baek: The horror.........THE HORROR.  
  
Jin: You would have been safer jumping out the window with us.  
  
Goku: Lets all get out of here (they do so)  
  
When they've gotten quite far away, they see a large explosion.  
  
Heihachi: My building!!  
  
Goku: Lets all see what happened. (they do so)  
  
The building has collapsed & Vegeta has one knee & fist kneeled into the floor. Anna lays unconscious 100m away.  
  
Trunks: Whoa! He ko'd her.  
  
Vegeta: (is out of breath but still laughs)  
  
Goku: hey. Lets all celebrate. That's obviously not the end of it, but lets stand here &  
  
reminisce about it & crack lame jokes only to be shocked at the fact that she's  
  
not really dead & there still her sister to go.  
  
Anna: (gets up slowly)Your pretty strong (wipes blood from mouth) For a mortal.  
  
An infuriated Vegeta lunges at Anna but she catches his punch & throws him into a building, collapsing it.  
  
Heihachi: NOOO!  
  
Goten: STOP! You know what we always do! We can't fight here. We'll just destroy  
  
the place. We got to find some place that's desolate & hasn't got any people  
  
& doesn't exist in real life & is a gazillion miles wide & isn't to be found  
  
anywhere on earth., but its right over there (points).  
  
Everyone: *Looks* (and sure enough, it is)  
  
Vegeta: (flies over to desolate landscape while everyone follows) Lets fight!  
  
Anna: I need to pee.  
  
Vegeta: (sighs) Go ahead then. (He turns round. Looks at his nails but realizes he's wearing gloves. He then ties his shoe lace but soon notices he doesn't have any)  
  
*flush*  
  
Anna: (emerges from toilets) Ready.  
  
Vegeta: I need to go now.  
  
Anna; That's a women's toilet.  
  
Vegeta: Oh, I see....  
  
Anna: What you turn around for?  
  
Vegeta: (shrugs) I didn't know that toilet was there before.  
  
Anna: I'm a Goddess remember?  
  
Paul: Are you gonna fight or not!  
  
Goku: Hey you don't have to fight. I got an idea (gets out wallet)  
  
Anna: Are you going to bribe me!?  
  
Goku: Hell no! I'm not employed & I don't have any money but for some  
  
inexplicable reason, my family lives in quite moderate surroundings.  
  
Vegeta: I just sponge of my loaded (& lovely) wife who owns the Capsule Corp. Her  
  
Name's Bulma.  
  
Lee: HAHAHA! That means bloomers.  
  
Anna: Well if you're not bribing me, what are you doing then?  
  
Goku: Here they are. Gohan's baby pics. (Shows them to Anna) Huh? Doesn't that  
  
want to make you relinquish your evil ways? Huh!? C'mon, relinquish. You  
  
can't resist his tiny widdy cuteness. They appeal to your maternal instincts.  
  
Anna: (stern face melts into maternal smile) Nina, I quit. You can keep the box. See  
  
ya later girlfriend. (teleports away to some godly place)  
  
Goku: Why didn't I think of that!? I can teleport too you know.  
  
Nina: Well now I'll never give you the time necessary to gather everyone into a big  
  
group & for you to charge up for mass teleportation.  
  
Goku: I won't need to because you're about to see....GOHAN'S BABY PICS. (sticks them in her face)  
  
Nina: *Blank expression*  
  
Goku: Ha! Feel your maternal instincts get the better of you. The cuteness. THE  
  
IDDY WIDDY CUTENESS!  
  
Nina: *yawn*  
  
Goku: Oh shit! Um...(messes in wallet).. ah ha! GOTEN'S BABY PICS!! Notice the  
  
Resemblance to me?  
  
Nina: *silence*  
  
Goku: Well how bout my baby pics! (shows them)  
  
Nina: (cracks knuckles)  
  
Goku: C'mon! it's a naked baby!!! Oh shit! Psst. Vegeta, gimme your baby pics.  
  
Vegeta: Lets just merge & then fight her, dumb-ass.  
  
Trunks: How come no one asked for my baby pics!? I was cute! Dad, wasn't I cute  
  
when I was a baby.  
  
Vegeta: Of course you weren't.  
  
Trunks:!!!  
  
Vegeta: Uh...I mean of course you weren't...I mean , I don't know because I  
  
neglected you! (slaps forehead)  
  
Gohan: Goten. Did you wish that just for one day, Vegeta couldn't tell a lie?  
  
Goten: What the hell are you talking about!?  
  
Gohan: Just checking.  
  
Nina: Quit showing me pictures & just fight.  
  
Goku: I can't hit a girl. Its just not me. Its like Christina Aguilera singing in Spanish.  
  
(puts wallet back but a picture falls out)  
  
Vegeta: (Picks it up) Nice.  
  
Trunks: Lemme see. (looks)... Oooo!  
  
Goku: Hey! Give that back.  
  
Gohan: I want to see! (snatches picture & looks).... Aw god that's awful.  
  
Goten: Really? Give it here.  
  
Gohan: No! it's mom.  
  
Goku: (snatches picture back & blushes) Thanks for that Vegeta.  
  
Nina, having grown impatient, lunges at Goku & punches him right in the face, knocking him down.  
  
Goku: That wasn't very ladylike.  
  
Nina: No shit Einstein!  
  
Kazuya: Don't put up with that crap. Hit her!  
  
Goku: I can't... cause... um...I've been.... defeated! Yeah that's it. Son, you'll have  
  
to fight her.  
  
Gohan: Hey! You've done this to me before.  
  
Trunks: DING DING DING! That is correct. What does Gohan win today!?  
  
Goten: Well Gohan wins the right to fight Nina, complete with medical expenses!  
  
Back to you Trunks!  
  
Gohan: Ah, shut up `fore I bust yo ass wit a 9-iron'. (steps up to Nina)  
  
Vegeta: Hey You! Kazuya Mishima isn't it?  
  
Kazuya: That's right.  
  
Vegeta: Well I've noticed that you think you're quite hard.  
  
Kazuya: What, you mean like you?  
  
Vegeta: Well... yes. Also your arrogant, cocky, overbearing & proud...just like me.  
  
We also both got suave hair.  
  
Kazuya: So what! Do you want to be my best bud now!?  
  
Lee: Sorry pal, positions taken! (puts arm round Kazuya)  
  
Kazuya: Get your hand off me.  
  
Lee: (retracts hand) Sorry.  
  
Vegeta: Ha! Don't flatter yourself. I don't need any friends! (looks back to fight)  
  
Gohan: C'mon, just give it up. I don't care if you're evil. I mean you're not bad....  
  
just in love. Tell me, what's the worst thing you've done?  
  
Nina: Do you really want to know.  
  
Gohan: Sure.  
  
Nina: Ok. While shopping one time, I took 11 items into the 10 items or less line.  
  
Everyone: *gasp* *horror*  
  
Gohan: (Clenches his fist) That's evil....but it can be forgiven.  
  
Nina: Can it now? You don't sound too sure about that. Besides it doesn't end  
  
there.....I paid in dimes.  
  
Gohan: No! Stop!  
  
Nina: Then I put all the stuff into un-recycled bags before loading them into my car  
  
parked in the disabled section.  
  
Gohan: AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH! (turns super saiya-jin 4) YOU'LL  
  
PAY!!!!  
  
Trunks: Oh man! Unreal!  
  
Vegeta: Goddam shut up with that!  
  
Nina: And to top it all off....I didn't put my cart away.  
  
Gohan: BITCH!! I'LL KILL YOU!!!!!! (lunges towards Nina)  
  
Nina & Gohan trade punches & kick for a while in the air, occasionally knocking each other into rocks & demolishing them in typical dragonball fashion.  
  
Goku: Gohan is being sloppy. I bet you 5 bucks that we have to mop this up after.  
  
Vegeta: I can't believe you'd bet against your own son.  
  
Goku: You do it all the time.  
  
Vegeta: Well I'm ace so I'm allowed. But I'll take your bet. Gohan will win.  
  
Goku: So anyway...Say, do you think we could go super saiya-jin 5?  
  
Vegeta: (shrugs) Maybe. I'd sure Like to.  
  
Goku: That'd be cool.  
  
Vegeta: You Know what.  
  
Goku: What?  
  
Vegeta: I'm Glad all those earth guys& Piccolo aren't here. I mean all they do is let us  
  
fight because most of the time they don't even stand a chance. They always  
  
come along to our adventures, all dressed up & stuff & they don't do anything  
  
but comment on how good we are when we're winning & say how  
  
were all doomed when we're losing.  
  
Goku: Don't be so nasty. They helped in the cell saga when Gohan was losing that tug  
  
of war with his kamehame. They all shot cell in the back.  
  
Vegeta: Don't make such stupid comments. Cell was hardly bothered by those blasts.  
  
It was my one that disturbed him long enough for Gohan to take advantage.  
  
Goku: Yeah! & then I shouted, ` NOW'S YOUR CHANCE'  
  
Vegeta: Yeah! Yeah! & all that heroic music.....  
  
Goku: ...Then cell disintegrated.  
  
Goku/Vegeta: *laugh hysterically*  
  
Vegeta: Shouldn't we be watching the fight?  
  
Goku: Oh yeah!  
  
They look & see SSJ 4 Gohan & Nina both standing out of breath with tattered clothes & bleeding profusely. Conveniently, While Gohan has no top left, Nina has shards just in the right places to cover up.  
  
Gohan: You're very strong. *huff puff*  
  
Nina: *Huff* So are you. You're also very fast. *puff*  
  
Gohan: *Huff* So are you. You're also very skilled. *puff*  
  
Nina: I know. But you're not  
  
Gohan: Oh I see. We're being honest.  
  
Goku: Gohan! Enough of that crap. Do something drastic at the end that will just  
  
scrape us the win.  
  
Trunks: I'm tired of using that strategy. Don't we have any others?  
  
Goku: *pssst* Vegeta, I really think you should stop hitting him so hard during  
  
Sparring sessions.  
  
Vegeta: Nonsense! (Smacks Trunks round the head).  
  
Trunks: Thanks. I don't know what came over me.  
  
Just then, Gohan comes crashing down a meter in front of them making a huge but not so huge crater.  
  
Michelle: Just think Lee. If you even just dated Nina for a bit, you'd of saved Gohan  
  
all that beating.  
  
Lee's imagination of a date with Nina in a restaurant called Assassin Joint.  
  
Nina:...& I killed him because he didn't ask me out for a second date.  
  
Lee: *laughs nervously*  
  
Nina: Yes that was amusing. Cheque please!  
  
Waiter: Here you go ma'am.  
  
Nina: Hey, this is the wrong cheque! (throws knife into waiters head)  
  
Back in the real world  
  
Kazuya: Well it wouldn't of stopped there. She would of made you marry her.  
  
Lee's imagination at wedding  
  
Kazuya: Congratulations, Lee! Have a....nice... honey moon. (wink & elbow in ribs)  
  
Lee: *blushes*  
  
Nina: Ok girls, get ready to catch the bouquet. (throws flowers)  
  
Anna: (Catches flowers) oh my...  
  
Nina: You! (throws knife into Anna's head)  
  
Back in the real world  
  
Heihachi: & then you'll give me grand children, who I would take in many helicopter  
  
rides & cliff tours.  
  
Lee's imagination again (he's nuts). This time in hospital maternity ward  
  
Nina: Oh isn't she cute. Look Lee. That's your daughter.  
  
Lee: I should hope so. Anyhow, what will we call her?  
  
Doctor: How about Anna?  
  
Baby: (Throws knife into doctors head)  
  
Back in the real world  
  
Jin: It would be so nice to have a new face in the family  
  
Lee's imagination at his house where Kazuya has visited  
  
Kazuya: Hello Charlotte Williams Mishima Chaolan, my niece from only brother Lee.  
  
Is your daddy home?  
  
Charlotte: Yes uncle Kazuya.  
  
Kazuya: I got you a Malibu Barbie for your fifth birthday.  
  
Charlotte: What! I wanted Ballet Barbie. (Throws Knife at Kazuya)  
  
Kazuya:(Coolly catches knife without effort in between middle & fore-finger)  
  
*yawn* Now Charlotte, you shouldn't play with assassin daggers.  
  
Real world  
  
Lee: Damn! There's aren't even any advantages! Oh well, for Gohan's sake, I'll have  
  
to ask Nina out on a date & stop this.  
  
King: Too late Romeo. Fights over.  
  
Lee: What! Who won.  
  
Xiaoyu: Gohan...*sigh*...He's so dreamy.  
  
Lee: (looks & sees Gohan surrounded by all the women.) How'd he win!?  
  
Lei: It was quite simple actually. You see his tail was*  
  
King: HEY EVERYONE! BEACH PARTY!!  
  
Everyone: runs to beach party.  
  
Lee: But....but... my explanation.... Ah nuts. (turns around & is about to follow everyone but sees Nina. Out of kindness, he walks over)  
  
Nina: *cry, sniff, sob*  
  
Lee: Hey.  
  
Nina: *sniff* Hi.  
  
Lee: Listen...uh...well. This is going to sound really stupid but...Do you use  
  
throwing knives?  
  
Nina: No way! That's Anna's speciality. ....Did you really mean what you said about  
  
only liking Japanese girls?  
  
Lee: Heck no. I'm a really very open minded kinda guy.  
  
Nina: (smiles at Lee)  
  
Lee: (smiles back & sticks out hand to help Nina up)  
  
Someone in audience: Getta room!!  
  
Someone else in audience: Down in front!!  
  
Lee: C'mon lets go to that beach party. (They do so.... Holding hands may I add. Course I may. I'm the author dammit!)  
  
At the beach party they stand at the doorway & see a wild party going on. Trunks is loading the capsule with fuel while playing with a lighter. Goten is juggling the dragonballs. Yoshi is carving the boar on a spit. Vegeta, Paul, Jin, Heihachi & Kazuya argue over who's got the funkiest hair. Gohan is still surrounded by women. Law, Eddy & Hwoarang play some tunes. Armor King & King are getting too drunk for anyone's good. Goku is eating a comically large amount of food. Much more than people would normally eat. But for comedy's sake he eats it all up at a ridiculously fast rate.  
  
Lee: C'mon lets join in.  
  
Nina: No. They all hate me!  
  
Lei: HEY EVERYONE ITS NINA & LEE!  
  
Everyone: HI NINA & LEE!  
  
Nina: I thought you'd all hate me.  
  
Goku; No way! My forgiving & naïve ways are contagious to everyone!  
  
Vegeta: Yeah! Even me. (kicks ground) I use to be such a bad  
  
mutha...mumble...mumble.  
  
Next day. The dragonball characters are ready to go back to their own planet.  
  
Goku: Ok guys, are we all buckled in?  
  
Gohan: Yup.  
  
Vegeta: Have you got those dragonballs?  
  
Goten: Yup.  
  
Trunks: Take off in 5...4...3...2...1  
  
Outside everyone sees the rocket take off.  
  
Baek: I'll never forget those guys.  
  
Lei: I won't forget them neither.  
  
Baek: Forget who?  
  
Lei: (Shrugs)  
  
Baek: C'mon Hwoarang. Lets get back to Korea.  
  
Paul: Yeah! C'mon guys. Flight to the US takes off in an hour.  
  
All Americans & Mexicans: WE KNOW!!  
  
Jin: How will us Japanese get back home!?  
  
Kazuya: Oh no! (hugs Jin in fear)  
  
Yoshimitsu: We're already in Japan idiots.  
  
Jin: (pushes Kazuya off) I knew that.  
  
Back in space  
  
Vegeta: Hey! I never proved I could destroy that planet with 1 final flash........  
  
THE END 


End file.
